I Know What You Did Last Summer
by Karaoke
Summary: Ever wonder what goes on in the minds of our beloved Konoha pals? What if someone came up with a jutsu that read minds? And then got them to dwell on their deepest, darkest secret with a certain, well known phrase...
1. Gaara

Ever wonder what goes on in the minds of Naruto characters? Well, now, with the help of our beloved host (big cheer from crowd), Mae, you can know! She has developed a stunning new jutsu that allows her to pry into peoples' minds, hear their thoughts, or see their memories!

And now, without further ado, she will be greeting Naruto characters with the famous line that will instantly make them dwell on their deepest, darkest secret from last year…

_"I know what you did last summer…"_

Note: italicized textinside the ">"s are the thoughts of the prankees, less euphemistically put as victims.

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**First victim -Gaara**

Mae (in a creepy whisper): _I know what you did last summer…_

Gaara (stare): Yeah, I killed people. So? >_Do you have a problem with that?>_

Mae: Uh… this kind of backfired… (sweatdrop)

Gaara (hesitation)>_Wait… she doesn't seem intimidated enough… maybe she does know something. (gasp) This doesn't have anything to do with the cookies, does it?> _

_

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_As all of the chapters are uncannily short, when I update, it will be by adding three chapters instead of one. Unless, of course, my brain goes into gridlock, as it has a tendancy to do when I don't get reviews... (hint, hint) 


	2. Neji

Disclaimer: I own Naruto! I own Konoha! Ahahahahaha! (laughs maniacally while getting dragged off by police)

Three years later... still in jail... (clutches bars of cells) Hey. Um. Guys? I was kidding...

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**Second victim –Neji**

Mae (in a creepy whisper): _I know what you did last summer…_

Neji: What>_Oh no! Did she read my diary and see that I dissed the Main House family of the Hyuugas? Even though I'm supposed to be humble as a Branch Family member, I had bad thoughts about the Main Family… Bad Neji! Bad Neji! Shouldn't have written them down! gasp…Or maybe she even read the entry before that, where I actually said maybe destiny could be changed. Such blasphemy! I should never have had such rebellious thoughts!>_

Mae: you keep a diary? What a girl.

Neji (sweating): what>_Did I say that out loud?>_

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Remember to review before reading the next chapter! And then review again! 


	3. Sakura

Disclaimer: (still in jail. Rattles bars.) I don't own Naruto! Can I leave now?

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**Third victim –Sakura**

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Sakura: You do? (panicking) You mean someone saw me trying to get a lock of Sasuke's hair during training? And sneaking into his house to try and steal a shirt! And hiring people to set up video cameras so I can tape him while he sleeps! Aah! Please don't tell! (runs off screaming)

Mae: what the hell… I didn't even have to use my jutsu!

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Everyone who reviews nicely will get marshmallows that I toasted over the flames from people who review not-so-nicely. 


	4. Naruto

Disclaimer: (on probation) I don't own Naruto yet...

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Fourth victim –Naruto

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Naruto: uh… u-um… what did I do last summer…? (Scratches head. Looks thoughtful, which in turn looks rather painful for him) >_Um… I ate ramen… I asked Sakura out… I tried to show Sasuke up… but I do that all the time… I don't remember. What did I do? Maybe she'll tell me, since she knows.> _(out loud:) What did I do?

Mae: (siiigh) never mind. >_Useless, I tell you! >_

_

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_

Nothing to say. This one was boring. The next one's better, or at least I think so.


	5. Sasuke

My personal favourite chapter so far.

Disclaimer (back in jail): This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks! I DON'T own Naruto!

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Fifth victim –Sasuke

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Sasuke: No shit. Any of you dumb stalker fangirls would know.

Mae (eye twitch): I'm not a fangirl! Why would I be a fan of _yours, _you insufferable prat?

Sasuke: (silent) >_Oh. My. God. She SO should not say mean things like that.>_

Mae: (trying to disguise it in a cough) (cough), _gay,_ (cough)

Sasuke: Do you have a prob—I mean, no! >_Damn… >_

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blahblah blah... reviewwww? 


	6. Kakashi

Yesss, out of jail! Disclaimer:I own Naruto! AHHHAHAHAH! No... nooooo not agaiiiiiiiin!

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Sixth victim –Kakashi

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Kakashi (visible eye widens): >_Don't tell me she saw me skinny dipping!> (remembering)_

Mae (sharing same image from using her jutsu): gasp! (fatal nosebleed) (medics rush in)

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Aaaahhh, poor, poor, poor Mae. Well... depends on how you look at it, of course, muahahahahahaaa! 


	7. Jiraiya

I know you all want the chapters to be longer, but if I drabble on and on over the same victim... I dunno, wouldn't that be boring? I like short and sweet: it's simple and original.

Disclaimer (a decrepit old lady hobbles up to the cells of the jail bar.): (wheeze) (choke) I d-don't own N-Naruto... (cough)

Jailkeeper: Well, you've served your seventy years anyways, so I guess you can go.

Old lady: Eh? (cups hand to ear) What's that?

Jailkeeper: You're free to go.

Old lady: I'm... f-free...? I'm free! After all these years! (twitches and falls to the ground in shock. Has heart attack.)

Fans: Oh, good job! You just had to keep arresting her, and now we'll never get another chapter again!

Jailkeeper: My bad...

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Seventh victim –Jiraiya

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

(pause)

Jiraiya: teeheehee! Heeheehe!

(Mae is disturbed by his perverted giggles and decides she doesn't even want to know.)

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Random event! A passing antelope sunbathing elf taps you on the shoulder and says: (Don't worry, there will be a next chapter.) 


	8. Hinata

(Spirit of dead old lady lives on and slips into peoples' bodies while they sleep to make them continue writing the story.)

Disclaimer: I od ton nwo oturaN.

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Eighth Victim –Hinata

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Hinata: Uh… u-um… _b-b…but…umm…uh… __I-I…h-how w-w-would…is she…um…(gasp)…I-I'm s-scared…will she h-hurt…me…? I… n-no…this…is…um…I h-hope…p-please don't… _

Mae (rolls eyes): _Any day now… _

Hinata: _(gulp)…ahh…what if…if…n-no…b-but…I…um…this is…why i-is she…he-here…maybe…uh…w-would it…does…this is…u-umm… _

Mae: _My GODDDDD…! _

Hinata: _A-anou…um…what sh-sh-should I…I… wh-what…b-but…I-I'm so… oh no… aah… m-maybe i-if… b-b-b-b-but… _

Mae: _screw this… _(walks off)

Hinata (lost in her own little world): _U-um…wh-what if… p-perh-h-h-haps… I..I-I… j-j-just… _(and so on)

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(People wake up in the morning and wonder why they don't feel well-rested.) 


	9. Iruka

Hello.

Disclaimer:

(invisible ink.)

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Ninth victim –Iruka 

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Iruka: Who are you? _That's not very niceof you at allto bring up! And from a complete stranger! Will nobody let me forget that incident? Just because I was high-strung that day and kind of had a breakdown because I was feeling emotional about Naruto growing up… not to mention my… insecurities… (sigh) _(**FLASHBACK**: Iruka pounded on the table, bawling and wailing as other teachers tried to comfort him. "_It's not fair! He's half my age and already surpassing me!"_

_Kurenai: "Don't lie about your age."_

_"BAWWWWL! Fine, a third my age... WAHAAA, even worse! I'm worthless and weak! I don't deserve to be a shinobi! I don't deserve to be an anbu!"_

_"You're not an __anbu."_

_"WAAAHH!" _**END OF FLASHBACK.**)

Mae (takes pity): Would you like a lollipop?

Iruka: Okay…

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I want a lollipop... anyways, that's the three chapters for today. I guess I should write the disclaimer in non-invisible ink, so I don't get sued... ok, I don't own Naruto. 

Anywho, make sure you review! The next chapters contain the chapter with Gai, which is my personal favourite one so far... even more so than Sasuke's... (hint, hint.)


	10. Gai

HI! I missed you all! (creepy smile)(Crowd: steps backwards)

Just kidding. I didn't! At all! GEEZ!(sudden mood swing)(Crowd: sweatdrop)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I own Mae and her cool mind-reading jutsu.

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Tenth victim –Gai

Mae: _I know—_

Gai: (thinks it's Lee, whips around with huge grin. Blinding flash of light off teeth.)

Mae (clutches face): **AAAAGH! MY EYES! **(topples over. Medics rush in.)

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Poor Mae, being mistaken for Lee. Although it was just her voice. So apparently she has a manly voice. Well, I can sympathize with her, I've been told that too... (glares at no one in particular) 


	11. Gai: Second Attempt

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, nope nope nope.

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Tenth victim –Gai: Second Attempt

Mae (wearing heavy sunglasses): _I—_

Gai: (Turns again. As the flash off his teeth doesn't blind Mae this time, she sees his eyebrows.)

Mae: _I…_I—I, eye, eye. Eye.

Gai: Beg pardon?

Mae (staggering backwards, pointing at eyebrows): Eye, eye, ugh. Eye, eyebrows. Eye. (Faints)(Medics rush in.)

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Onto the next chapter... 


	12. Gai: Third Attempt

Disclaimer: AIb Cdon'td Eownf GNarutoh. (very complex code, that is.)

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Tenth victim –Gai: Third Attempt

Mae (wearing blindfold): _I know what you did last summer…_

Gai: You again? Wait… _what did you say? >She knows what I did last summer? Oh crap… isn't that the time I spied on Kakashi skinny dipping?>_

Mae: **WHAT? YOU PERVERT!**

Gai (caught up in his memory, doesn't hear her): >_He may be my rival, but damn he is sexy!> (remembering)_

Mae (sharing image): _not again…**AAAAHH! **_(fatal nosebleed)

Medics (rushing in)(to Gai): We're going to have to ask for your criminal record, sir. You seem to keep injuring her.

Gai: but…I didn't…!

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I make myself laugh. That's pretty sad. 


	13. Chouji

Disclaimer: Now lissen 'ere, sonneh Jim, if'n Ah've tol' ya once Ah've tol' yew a thousan' tahmes... _but when Ah've already tol' ya a thousan' tahmes, you don' REALLY need ta hear it agin, do ya?_

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Eleventh victim –Chouji

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Chouji (pauses): That reminds me. (walks off, gets bag of chips)

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This has to be the shortest chapter in the history of... uhh, short chapters. 


	14. Itachi

Disclaimer: FINE, I'll say it again! I! Don't! Own! Naruto!

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Twelfth victim –Itachi

Mae: _I know what you did last summer…_

Itachi (turns slowly)(copies mind reading jutsu with Sharingan): And what did _you _do last summer, hmmm? _(reading her mind)_

Mae: Noooooo! (Zooms off)

(Pause)

Itachi (confused): _……>What's a game cube?> _

_

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_I just had to add a modern reference. xD 


End file.
